This is great! When I reached the quote, "we must empower their agency so they understand they cannot undo their choices, but they can always make more as they better comprehend the consequences...," I thought yes, that's the kernel of truth. But a couple sentences later I read the one starting, "I wonder about the kids who were told to be reasonable so many times they never even risked asking for more..." and realized that's even better.
The first quote speaks to me, well into middle age, finally and wholly appreciative of the cycle of reconciliation between decisions and consequences and remaining decisions that we call life. The trajectory of my own intellectual development is different from the author's; it only started to bloom around my somphmore year of college, and I realized that my decision to default to the same big Midwestern university that half my high school friends had chosen was set, and that I needed to make the most of what remained. But none of this should be about me. More and more of my time is spent fretting over what my daughter – who's 10 – will face for choices when she's out of high school. I can't help but look upon the universally ballooning cost of education in the US as a betrayal of our younger generations. This piece has helped me recognize that I may also be part of the chorus of voices telling kids "to be reasonable," and that I should probably just pause and listen to their dreams. A lot to think about.
Excellent essay. I also had a somewhat non-traditional college experience and was also disillusioned with my time at university when I was at UT Austin.
Now that I’m older, I understand that UT was just a different kind of school from what I expected and that it was because I was so fixated on a very specific view of college (and more broadly, of life) that I failed to appreciate the strengths of UT as a university.
Of course college is a disproportionately important time in one’s life, but as you get older the less that disproportion matters because, well, there’s just so much more experience you have outside of college that in it.
It’s curious you mention UT Austin - I studied English there and received socially all the things described as lacking above: a community, long nights of religious and philosophical discussion, and even a future spouse. But that was through a Christian group, never through the literary or artistic circles I tried joining through Parkin Hall or campus magazines volunteer roles. In contrast to Ashcraft, just as one testimony to another, the Romantic ideals of a literary college life were not the fulfilling ones. (I’ve spent post-grad life seeking those elsewhere.)
Powerful stuff! I can see why you're making it in this space!
I related to a lot of it, though I climbed much higher at the college level (one of the top 20 at the time, let's say, but not in the top 5) and then sorta plateaued afterwards. It was a different era, of course (late 90s). I actually always had a strong interest in politics and was unhappy with each side, so being a professional centrist would be...kind of my dream job, actually. But I went for something more practical, and reaped the results. I'm quasi-rich, but not happy, and that's more or less what I was expecting. I have, to paraphrase the end of The Scarlet Letter, done tasks enough, and been paid my wages duly.
I did not find community at college (indeed, I was expecting the sort of intellectual community you described), but when it didn't pan out (I got really depressed freshman year) I just gave up on finding 'my people' entirely and decided to hoard as much money as possible as a guard against disaster and wait for the end.
"I considered my main asset to be my academic intelligence. I don’t have particularly strong social skills; in fact, that was one of the main reasons for me to go to college: to have community. And I wasn’t athletic or coordinated enough to work with my hands like friends who grew plants or built PCs. I’d always been destined for some white-collar job with a high mental workload,"
Yeah, that was me too. Maxed out INT, at the expense of the other five--hey, we weren't all born with that many character points. I figured I'd max out every attempt to do well on standardized tests I could (I wish I had been born in Imperial China!) and then live frugally and hoard assets, then invest in an S&P 500 index fund. But I was more of a science guy--maybe it predisposes us to get too hung up on numbers.
"I didn’t perceive how, at some point, not knowing those things became cause for admiration rather than pity."
as someone who works directly with high school seniors, many of whom are fortunate to at least be FAFSA eligible in order to be able to afford community college… this was an interesting if not necessarily appealing read for me. for my students, the option to choose a less “dreamy” school for $40k a year is an unthinkable privilege. to choose a competent in-state university for $10k up front and $5k in federal subsidized and unsubsidized loans rather than the local community college is unthinkable. maybe a middle or upper middle class student with a comfortable safety net can think about going into serious debt for the dream school (though honestly many of my compatriots anecdotally regret similar decisions). but for many, it’s simply not an option. they must cultivate their dreams in dreamless places, and accept it as fortune to dream at all.
We've gotten to a place, both in price and as a solution to employment, that not going to a four year university makes at least as much sense as doing almost anything else to support yourself. I graduated in 2011, and since then the cost has continued to skyrocket and viability of degree has only become more precarious. I resolutely reserve judgement for anyone deciding to not saddle themselves with debt that will likely outlive them and alter their lives for its duration.
This is miraculous.
Gang shit fr
This is great! When I reached the quote, "we must empower their agency so they understand they cannot undo their choices, but they can always make more as they better comprehend the consequences...," I thought yes, that's the kernel of truth. But a couple sentences later I read the one starting, "I wonder about the kids who were told to be reasonable so many times they never even risked asking for more..." and realized that's even better.
The first quote speaks to me, well into middle age, finally and wholly appreciative of the cycle of reconciliation between decisions and consequences and remaining decisions that we call life. The trajectory of my own intellectual development is different from the author's; it only started to bloom around my somphmore year of college, and I realized that my decision to default to the same big Midwestern university that half my high school friends had chosen was set, and that I needed to make the most of what remained. But none of this should be about me. More and more of my time is spent fretting over what my daughter – who's 10 – will face for choices when she's out of high school. I can't help but look upon the universally ballooning cost of education in the US as a betrayal of our younger generations. This piece has helped me recognize that I may also be part of the chorus of voices telling kids "to be reasonable," and that I should probably just pause and listen to their dreams. A lot to think about.
Excellent essay. I also had a somewhat non-traditional college experience and was also disillusioned with my time at university when I was at UT Austin.
Now that I’m older, I understand that UT was just a different kind of school from what I expected and that it was because I was so fixated on a very specific view of college (and more broadly, of life) that I failed to appreciate the strengths of UT as a university.
Of course college is a disproportionately important time in one’s life, but as you get older the less that disproportion matters because, well, there’s just so much more experience you have outside of college that in it.
It’s curious you mention UT Austin - I studied English there and received socially all the things described as lacking above: a community, long nights of religious and philosophical discussion, and even a future spouse. But that was through a Christian group, never through the literary or artistic circles I tried joining through Parkin Hall or campus magazines volunteer roles. In contrast to Ashcraft, just as one testimony to another, the Romantic ideals of a literary college life were not the fulfilling ones. (I’ve spent post-grad life seeking those elsewhere.)
Powerful stuff! I can see why you're making it in this space!
I related to a lot of it, though I climbed much higher at the college level (one of the top 20 at the time, let's say, but not in the top 5) and then sorta plateaued afterwards. It was a different era, of course (late 90s). I actually always had a strong interest in politics and was unhappy with each side, so being a professional centrist would be...kind of my dream job, actually. But I went for something more practical, and reaped the results. I'm quasi-rich, but not happy, and that's more or less what I was expecting. I have, to paraphrase the end of The Scarlet Letter, done tasks enough, and been paid my wages duly.
I did not find community at college (indeed, I was expecting the sort of intellectual community you described), but when it didn't pan out (I got really depressed freshman year) I just gave up on finding 'my people' entirely and decided to hoard as much money as possible as a guard against disaster and wait for the end.
"I considered my main asset to be my academic intelligence. I don’t have particularly strong social skills; in fact, that was one of the main reasons for me to go to college: to have community. And I wasn’t athletic or coordinated enough to work with my hands like friends who grew plants or built PCs. I’d always been destined for some white-collar job with a high mental workload,"
Yeah, that was me too. Maxed out INT, at the expense of the other five--hey, we weren't all born with that many character points. I figured I'd max out every attempt to do well on standardized tests I could (I wish I had been born in Imperial China!) and then live frugally and hoard assets, then invest in an S&P 500 index fund. But I was more of a science guy--maybe it predisposes us to get too hung up on numbers.
"I didn’t perceive how, at some point, not knowing those things became cause for admiration rather than pity."
Oh, that one's easy: everyone loves a winner.
as someone who works directly with high school seniors, many of whom are fortunate to at least be FAFSA eligible in order to be able to afford community college… this was an interesting if not necessarily appealing read for me. for my students, the option to choose a less “dreamy” school for $40k a year is an unthinkable privilege. to choose a competent in-state university for $10k up front and $5k in federal subsidized and unsubsidized loans rather than the local community college is unthinkable. maybe a middle or upper middle class student with a comfortable safety net can think about going into serious debt for the dream school (though honestly many of my compatriots anecdotally regret similar decisions). but for many, it’s simply not an option. they must cultivate their dreams in dreamless places, and accept it as fortune to dream at all.
We've gotten to a place, both in price and as a solution to employment, that not going to a four year university makes at least as much sense as doing almost anything else to support yourself. I graduated in 2011, and since then the cost has continued to skyrocket and viability of degree has only become more precarious. I resolutely reserve judgement for anyone deciding to not saddle themselves with debt that will likely outlive them and alter their lives for its duration.
$200K tuition for 4 years of college- insane!
Guess who’s profiting from those usurious student loans?